Saturday, May 10, 2014

Refuse two times before you accept . . . .

"New York Times, Saturday, May 3, 2014 . . . The Arts Section
There is a Persian custom that could probably improve television.  It's taarof, which makes a virtue of insincerity. For example, a host is expected to offer hospitality three times, each time more pressingly, but the guest should humbly refuse. . . "

Persian?  Insincerity? How about Marashtsi Armenian and good manners!  How many times had Grandpa Peter gone hungry because he had followed the custom . . . waiting to be asked a third time before he accepted the offer of food  . . .

Peter taught his children the same custom. . . little did they know it was a "custom", or that it existed in the Persian culture.  They continue to bring food to the table, and invite the guests to partake . . . invite them, yes, three times.

Marash Girl has always inadvertently annoyed Marash Boy by practicing taarof!   When she offers him food that she has prepared (after he has already had a first helping),  and he says,"No," she continues to offer until the third offer has been completed at which point Marash Boy explodes and says, "I told you I don't want any!"  I guess his family, Marashtsi as it is, never practiced the custom of  taarof!

2 comments:

  1. or... he became an American.

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  2. Ah, yes - the same 3x is practiced in the US South, or at least it was in my youth . It was expected that one would graciously decline the first proffer, then the second, and when pressed with the third, accept most gratefully. I do understand now that many people take you at your word after the first refusal!!

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